I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
