I understand why you refuse to be sober now
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
