I think I am morally bankrupt
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Randomize
