conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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