Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
