my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
