College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
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