Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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