Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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