I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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