Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
