She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
