She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I think I just sharted jello shots
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
