I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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