What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
