he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
