I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Randomize
