dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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