Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
