I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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