In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
he fucked my hip out of place.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
