Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
