Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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