What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
