Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
