So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
