I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
