Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
