i jhust puked up my retainher.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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