I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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