my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
