Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
