it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
he shaved USA in his pubs
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
