Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
