omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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