He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
high people should be assigned attendants
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Randomize
