I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
