ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
