he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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