I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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