mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
