Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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