I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
