with your own penis?
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
