i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
