I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
