WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
