Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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