he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I deserve this hangover.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
