I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Randomize
