I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Randomize
